I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
