Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
