is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize