he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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