remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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