you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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