Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
