youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
