He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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