when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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