some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
