Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
