it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
