im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
