you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
