I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize