I want to have your abortion
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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