WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
