Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize