sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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