My sheets look like a crime scene.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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