is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
