I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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