T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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