3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
