Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
