The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
