wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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