Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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