Cold hands, warm shart.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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