just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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