OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
