i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Randomize
