Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
grandma shit on top of the toilet
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
