You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
