he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize