How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
don't judge my taste in strippers
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
