I'm lost and stupid without you.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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