Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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