bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
