idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
