Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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