Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
