thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
