She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
