My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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