oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
