If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Who died my cat blue again?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
