No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
