ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
