it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
