My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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