Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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