I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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