sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
her vagine was all disorganized.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
