Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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