My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
