YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
