Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
