is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
