Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize