How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
